16 Week Catch Up

I had every intention of writing sooner. Another big deadline at job#1, and just being plain exhausted has prevented me.

So, lets catch up. The twin news became official right after Christmas. I'd be surprised if no one knows at this point. But for some reason, I still feel the need to hide it. I've been hiding my budding belly for awhile. I think its another round of fear coming over me, and I'm not sure where its really coming from. It's almost like I'm still afraid to admit it because if something happens, then everyone will eventually find out. Every appointment has been perfect, so there is no real worry at this point. It's just the anxiety I feel again. I think it's going to stay with me until they're here.
Anyone with pregnancy after loss have any words of wisdom?  Why do I keep looking for things to go wrong? Why can't I fully enjoy this pregnancy?

Switching gears.
Holy Growth! I woke up at 14w4 days (on a monday) and could hardly walk! My hips! My uterus! Oy Vey! Most days I can feel the stretching. Some days are worse than others.

My 14 week appointment went ok. I had mentioned last time that the tech was terrible, and I hope I never get her again.
Started off normal, and then she just slabbored the gel all over my tummy. Then she just went right into scanning both babies, telling me nothing. Didn't explain what she was doing, and was all over the belly b/c the babies kept moving around. So I started to ask "what are you doing, whats that, is that this.. is that that?" She seemed really annoyed with me that I was asking questions. After she was finished, she wiped the wand on the cover thingy and then told me to use the same cover to wipe off. Can't you give me a clean towel? ugh. Trying to clean myself off, I had the gel all over my hands, on my clothes. The pictures ended up being terrible. She took it upon her self to cut them up and and only give me two. One was an 'ok' profile, and the other just looked like a black picture.

I had my regular OB appointment later in that week, and it went ok as well. I guess I just feel like the practice I'm at is big buisnessy feel. Sure you have the nurses who really care, but its really about getting you in, answer questions, and get out. It was a nice surprise to get to hear the heart beats via the doppler. She couldn't find baby b's HB b/c of to much movement.  I ended up with a nurse practitioner this time around. She was nice. I've gotten used to the rotation of doctors from going through all this fertility jazz. It was the same way at the clinic.

I have the 16 week appointment on Monday, and hopefully find out the genders. If they'll stay still for a second! The DH is coming with me on this one, so it would be nice for us to be together and find out. I finally have an idea or two on how to tell the masses (FB), but I still need an idea on how to tell family and work mates. I'm desperately trying to avoid the whole cake thing, but its so easy. So I'll have to pintrest this weekend to find something.

Oh!! You guys!! I called off on job #2 20 min before my shift with a "headache."  You should be proud of me. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand for 4 hours with the pain I was in already. They weren't happy, but of flipping well. They all probably called me names all night.
But this prompted a conversation with the DH about when I can quit. I'm happy to announce that we have come up with a date of Feb 5th, to put in my two weeks then. So happy that we're on the same page now. But now, I just have to hang on for a few more weeks and hope that it all ends on good terms. I'll have to grocery shop there!

Other than that, not much going on. Sleeping a lot. Trying to read these 4 prego books that I have. No real plans for the weekend except work, and put in  hours for job#1 in order to meet the big deadline for next Friday. I have off Monday (gov't holiday) so I've stacked three doctor's appointment's for the day; thyroid doc, baby doc & gastro doc. Then promptly home to crash, and fall asleep at 7pm.

Hoping you have a better weekend than me!
Maybe next post I'll be brave and start doing the whole bump pic thing. I'm only starting to embrace it now.
Until Then - -