Money Money Money Money....MON-EY!

That's a song by the way, at least I'm pretty sure b/c I keep singing it in my head.
Its always about the money.   I just finished my budget for the rest of the year. And now I'm depressed. ha! Having a 2nd job is a big time bummer, but its definitely helping with... you guessed it.... money!  
I'm at a point where I don't know if we'll have to do any treatments yet, so I'm realizing that I have to start saving up for expenses for towards the end of this year. Treatments would essentially start in Sept and go all the way until we have a baby (or not). B/c of the mess I was in the last couple of months, I've had use my flex spending.. so that's quickly dwindling.
Meanwhile, we're still not done projects on our house. DH is taking care of that, leaving me to worry about the bills, including my shiny brand new car payment. I've been getting these small medical bills too. So annoying. Thankfully, and I consider this a miracle - my DH and I have never really fought about money. It's always a conversation. I mean sure, we've had a spat or two, but nothing we didn't get over that afternoon. I only get stressed about it when I sit and stare at the screen looking at these figures. Wondering how I'm going to do it... do I need to add more hours at the 2nd job? or maybe not buy coffee every day?  lol. I'm getting better at that.

As far as treatments and baby making... I'm kind of shocked how "ok" I am right now in waiting a few months before trying again, and waiting to do treatments. I can remember crying b/c my regular endocrinologist told me that I have to wait 9 weeks till my thyroid leveled out. But I'm here... in the "now"... and I'm completely ok with that. Though I am starting to stress about my weight. Making a change to the diet is more harder than it used to be. I've got the working out thing -down- so now its onto getting that diet thing.... down. For the last couple days I've been addicted to chips & dip. Sour cream and onion chips with sour cream and onion dip. Ew? noooo way. I'm actually considering buying some on my way home to eat before going to job #2 tonight. Yep... I'ma do it.

So anyways.. what else. I'm so boring now.
I'm kind of getting excited for my trip to South Carolina. My lil'bro is graduating from Coastal Carolina, so we'll be in Myrtle Beach. I'm driving by myself, meeting my mom and family down there. I'm a little nervous to drive by myself only b/c I've had a bad experience making the drive before (DH and I were long distance for almost 2 years, I was in SC and he was in MD, so I would make this drive about once every other month - - one time I had a homeless or drifter bother me for a ride and wouldn't leave me a long, kept hanging around my car as if she was going to jump in my car last min or waiting for me to leave my car to steel it. weirded me out for sure). But at the same time, it will be nice to have some alone time before going into an awkward weekend. See, my parents are divorced and it did not end very well. Any my dad is going to be there, I think alone and staying at the same hotel. That means I'll have to hang out with him. We don't have the best relationship, or really any relationship (i.e. see previous post about Christmas). It will all be interesting. Then I'll drive home alone, and decompress from the weekend.
I'll most likely work every single day and night so I don't lose any hours. But.. I have to remember, I rely on that extra paycheck.

I guess really that's it... Until next time my friends!

A New Normal

>deep breath< 

Hey there. So, I've started this post over three times, lets see if this one will make the cut. It's a little boring, and nice and short update.

I've been feeling pretty good. Its been about 2 months since I miscarried and 3 months since my car accident. Life has finally calmed down enough to achieve a new normalcy.

After a lot of back + forth from the car insurance people, I finally got a settlement. I wasn't entirely happy about it, but it wasn't worth pursing and dragging it out anymore than it already had been. So with that I did end up getting a new car. A 4 door civic. I was nervous about the size. Even though this pregnancy didn't work out, I do plan on having a kid or two. And I know from experience that honda's last forever, so that's something I take into consideration when buying a car. I had my heart set on another CRV, but the payments would have been a strain. When the salesmen was pulling the car around I saw a women get out of her 4 door civic and get a car seat out. So I stopped her at the door and asked if it was realistic to have a smaller car with a family, she said "we love it!." So that made me feel a little bit better with going with the civic, and I love it too.

After 6 weeks of waiting, my period finally started. I was sooo excited to see it come along, and without any drugs. But then came the AWFUL cramps. I was couch ridden for most of the 1st day. It was a short 2 day cycle. The doctor said that this one didn't count b/c I wasn't yet in the negative with the HCG. So, now I wait for the 2nd cycle to show up which I'm hoping it will be next week so says my tracking app. We'll wait the next two cycles out and then we can begin to try again. I'm hoping that I'll be a metformin statistic again with just trying on our own for 2/3 cycles. Then we'll dive right into treatments in September if it hasn't happened yet.
I'm kind of scared/nervous/excited to start trying again. I'm trying to keep my DH off me until I know for sure that I'm out of that ovulation window. But I'm really trying to just focus on one step at a time. Right now, its about getting my head back in the game. Focusing on me for the next two months. Working out has been soooo good. I'm doing this thing called Soldierfit, where its classes like a bootcamp, but the atmosphere is amazing. Everyone is so nice and encouraging. I'm doing personal training every other week with a 100% certified cutie pie. And I've fall'n back in love with running again. Its kind of challenging b/c I work 65 hours a week, so whenever I have the nights off, I'm doing something active. I'm not even worried about my weight (yet) just b/c my hormones have been so all over the place. But as of this week I'm DONE with doctors. Even done with the dentist for 6 more months. Even just that is refreshing. My tank was running on low for the last 2/3 months. And I'm actually ok with waiting a few cycles before trying again. I'm really enjoying this time of being normal. I might even get to accrue some comp time at my full time job! My sick time has dwindled down to just 20 hours (from 70) and my vacation is down to 60 hours (from 70+).. 

So that's really kind of it for now. I welcome this new normal, bring on the day!