Over it?

Ugh. I can't seem to catch a break. One day I think I'm ok, I'm laughing, smiling, joking. The next day I'm so sad. 
I'm kind of in limbo at the current moment. I feel like I'm ready to be over this sadness and loss, but my surrounds are not letting me.
Now... I know its only been 2 weeks, but it feels like its been longer. My mind has really gone more towards looking at this loss as a scientific happening than an emotional one.
I'll explain...
So, the way I was supposed to get pregnant was through science. Hypothesis and all. If I take these med's, Then I'll get pregnant. It was about steps, procedures, monitoring. There was nothing emotional about it. I mean yes... the effects can be an emotional roller coaster for sure, but the plan of getting pregnant itself, is about facts...results... 
So what happened was my body telling me that this was not going to be a good pregnancy, the science of my body knew better than my heart. And that's where my mind is right now.

But my surroundings are telling me otherwise. I'm constantly being reminded of what would have been.
Every week I'm having to go get my blood tested (at the same office where I saw no heartbeat) to watch my hcg go back down, so every week I'm reminded that I'm not pregnant anymore and that I cant even try until I get through the next two cycles.
I had a follow up with the doctor who did my DNC two weeks ago today and I think that's whats triggered my emotions this morning. Seeing him was a reminder of how awful that procedure was and how I felt that day.
I'm still getting "that look" from people at the office and having to convince them that I'm ok. I feel like I'm so behind at my task's at job#1 because from the accident and the loss I've had to take a lot of time off work (I hold myself up to a very high standard) so it feels like I'm under performing. Even though I know that my boss is not holding anything against me.
I still don't have a new car and I feel like this loss is all tied up within my car accident. I spoke with Geico yesterday and she JUST reached out to all medical places this past Friday.. so it will be another 2/3 weeks before that is over.
I've had a migraine for the past three days, I think its b/c of the hormones crashing so its unavoidable. But if it continues another day or so, I'll be back at the doctors to ask, what the heck I can do about this pain.
I mean, if its not one thing - its another. I can't seem to catch a break. I seriously need a vacation from my body. How does that work? I'm trying really hard to get back to normal. But then something happens where I'm sad again. Or that I'm having to jump through another hurdle health wise, or car insurance wise, or work wise.
I'm waiting for the day that its 70 degrees out, no clouds in the sky to stay home from work and just sit on my back deck and soak up the sun. No noise but the birds chirping. No interruptions from the husband. Just me and the sun. It would be better if I lived near a beach - but I don't!

I'm hanging on, hanging in there. Staring at the edge of the cliff. I just need to get through the next month or so.. 

So back to steps. I'll meet with my RE next week to kind of see where we're at. Get focused on the plan. I'm working my way back up to max dosage of Metformin (2,000 mg) and I'm taking pre-natles again. I'll see my regular endocrinologist for my thyroid. Hoping my thyroid levels stay where they are.
I'm going to focus on my 5k training and do this boot camp thing called Soldierfit once a week to start.
I'm going to be fine. I need to learn to let go and let God. I keep staring at this scripture that I printed out and have it on my desk:
"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for answers. If you do this you will experience Gods peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus." Philippians 6-7.