Monday night, I got home from my 2nd job at 11'ish and I felt kind of uncomfortable. I took a shower and laid down, and I had a bad cramp. Kind of like I ate to much fiber and I had stomach knots and just needed to poop. I woke up quarter to 1am with a pressure of needing to pee, but as soon as I stood up a gush of blood came out. I made it to the toilet ok and was just kind of stunned. Is this really happening right now? Am I miscarrying? When I wiped I had some tissue and that's when I called my husband. He took one look at me and looked down and it almost seemed as if he completely deflated. I started to cry and struggled to get off the toilet because I was to scared to even look down or even stand up.
I got a pad on and sat on the floor in my bedroom and just whaled, cried, shake, rocking back and fourth. It was just terrible.
I called the on-call nurse at the clinic. She had said, that if I was miscarrying that the ER can't stop it from happening. To ride it out at the comfort of your home and get to the doctors 1st thing in the morning. So that's what I did. I'm not sure how if even if I slept the whole night as I was still kind of in shock. A thousand thoughts flying through my head, but mostly it was just "why? why would God take away my twins, why would he do that?" One thing I did notice was after the initial bleed, it stopped (other than when wiping).
We got to the doctors around 9am. The on-call nurse must have alerted everyone who handled my case, everyone was so nice and seemed concerned for us. I just love my doctors.
When we got into the room and they dived right in. Babies were there, and they were perfect. What happened was a Subchorionic Hemorrhage. From all the googling I did (because of course I did not retain any of the information the doctor was spouting off), its a blood clot or a collection of blood clots that are right next to the placenta and it can tare away. So that's what happened.They did still see blood when they did the sonogram yesterday. I'm still bleeding here and there and will continue to do so for a couple days. So I'm a bed rest of sorts. I took the rest of the week off from Job #2 and today is the last day this week for job #1 and I get to rest for a couple days.
My DH, on the way home was like, you realize that we made it past 8 weeks? And I completely forgot about that milestone. We made it past 8 weeks!
I was supposed to have my final appointment today, and have "graduated." But the doctor wants to see me one last time, and to make sure there isn't any more complications. So I get to have a 'real' last appointment next Wednesday. Then coincidentally I have my 1st OB appointment that following Wednesday. It will be two weeks in a row where I'll get to see my little nuggets.
Today I am 8 weeks & 3 days. This is the longest I have ever been pregnant. So from here on out, things will be new to me. And scary for me. As each week passes, I think "wow!" I made it this far! And I don't think this will be an easy pregnancy, but I will do whatever it takes for these little ones.
It's also Thanksgiving. While I'm excited for homemade mashed 'tators and turkey, I'd like to say how thankful I am for my Lord and Savior. I had to ask forgiveness for ever questioning him, especially after Monday morning. But I am completely in line with Him and leaning on him for his guidance. And all I ever need to do is just pray, call on Him and he is there. Always.
I am forever grateful for my husband. He has really come a long way, WE have really come a long way in all of this, and he is there hand in foot for me every time. Love him dearly.
I am also grateful for my clinic. My doctors, my nurses. Even the ones who take my blood every visit. They are so helpful, understanding, smart, happy. I am sad to leave them, to go to a 'factory' setting in a few weeks.
I've saved the best for last, I'll try my best to get the video uploaded here.
8 week, 3 days
I hope and pray that you have a wonderful time off. I also know how lonely it can be, and how hard it is to get through the holidays. It is completely normal to feel this way. I don't know how I did it for so long.
Until next time!
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