Graduation

I can hardly believe it. I'm filled with emotion today and I'm pregnant crying over everything. This morning was my last appointment with my clinic. I have graduated.
I'm not sure what this journey would bring when I started 'officially' with our clinic last year. I had a feeling I would end up pregnant, but I didn't know what kind of fights I would end up fighting in the war of infertility and how long of a battle it would be. This past year alone was a very difficult one. From a poylp, to thyroid issues, to miscarriage, to disappointment after disappointment. I just didn't know.
My miscarriage has affected me in ways I never knew they would. How much of a scar it has left. At least right now, it was only 8 months ago, I guess. You think your over it, and its in the past and your trying your best to have your head in the hear and now. But early in this pregnancy I woke up every morning in fear. Every time I went to the bathroom, fear. Every appointment I had was filled with anxiety until I saw those heartbeats. Would the next appointment show no heartbeat? Then to have that hemorrhage and scare me half to death. I thought it was over then. I would go in to the doctor's and it would be over, and I would have to try again. Could I even try again?

Today, at 9 weeks 4 days, everything is just wonderful. They're measuring perfect, with perfect little heartbeats. I still had anxiety this morning, probably b/c I'm still spotting (leftover's from the hem). But afterwards, I feel a lot more at ease, like maybe this will all be ok. Like "I'm going to make it."

I wasn't sure what to think about this appointment and the things that would happen. The sonographer (spelling?)  was sloppy this time and we got horrible pictures and videos, but we saw one of them MOVING!!!!  See mom? I'm here!  That filled my heart with so much love for these beings. (I'm crying now btw).
The appointment all together was quick. The doctor gave me a folder full of my paperwork and records, said "good luck" and we left. Just like that. I know that my doctor runs out of three different offices, and she's only in my office on Friday's. But I don't think my nurse was there either.
Just after lunch my doctor did send me an email, so I'll email her back and I'll send off a separate email to my nurse.
I'm thankful that I have our 1st actual OB appointment next week. So that will be three weeks in a row where I'll get to see these little buggers. I need to start doing my research on what type of questions to ask, any suggestions?

I can't get the video to work, and again the pictures are really bad you can't even tell that they're anything. So I'll wait to next week. Maybe I'll just video the whole thing myself just to be sure.

By the way. We did announce to our parents - but more on that later. It wen't completely different than what I thought it would be.

Happy Hump Day!
Until Next Time -