Yea those unofficial results? I guess nothing is official until its official right?
Today I went in for my blood draw/beta. Normal. The girl asked me if I cheated and I said, well yes I did and its a no. So she's like well ok, but lets just see. In my mind I'm like, yea ok.
I didn't even think twice, I was more focused on whether I should try for an IUI next or not. Whats my thyroid thinking, is the demon going to play games with me.
So I went on about my day, reading all of your blogs. Some of you just gave birth, and are probably giving birth right now - hence your absence from posting *wink wink*
So the nurse calls me, not my usual nurse, a nurse from another office. Weird I thought, but ok.
Nurse: Hello, is this *******?
Me: Yes this is she.
Nurse: Well I have some good news for you.
Me: huh?
Nurse: You have a beta of 214!, Your pregnant!
Me: No I'm not!
Nurse: Yes you are!
Me: No I'm not!
Nurse: Yes you are! Now stop it, you have to come in Monday and again Wednesday, and you know that the important thing is that they double.
Me: Yes. Ok. >scheduled time for Monday morning<
Nurse: (by this time I'm hysterically crying in my office with the door shut) Are you ok? Everything is fine, at this moment in time you are pregnant so be excited.
Me: Sniffles, yes! Thank you!
Nurse: Have a good weekend.
Me: Sniffles, yes thanks you too.
As soon as she said the word "good" I completely lost it. Luckily I shut my office door just in time.
I reacted the same exact way I did last time. I just hypercried, and kept saying "oh my God" over and over again, and shaking.
Officially I'm pregnant. That could change, and I know this now. But I'm excited. Sunday night? I'll be a nervous wreck. This was a huge hurdle to get over, and there will be many..many more.
And now I'm also remembering that my regular endocrine doctor said I was high risk for another mc based on my thyroid levels.
My heart rate is still racing, and I need to calm down. And my boobs are starting to hurt, like all of a sudden.
>deep breath<
I put a phone call in to my endocrine doctor to see what she wants me to do, another blood draw probably to check my TH levels. So I'm waiting to hear back from her.
This week I've sat back and reflected about these treatments. It was going to be my intention to write a sliver linings post, trying to focus on the positive rather on the negative.
I will anyways. And if I need to Monday or Wednesday or 2 weeks from now I can look back at this list and be grateful.
1) Going through all of this, preg #1, car accident, waiting, treatments and now preg #2 it has brought me closer to God. I still struggle with wanting to let go, and complain about "why not me, its my time!!" Today was a huge wake up call. That I should have trusted him more. I need to trust him more.
2) I have PCOS, but I've had regular cycles for at least 5+ years now. Not many women too. And I ovulate consistently.
3) I've gotten pregnant now twice without serious medical assistance.
4) My DH swimmers are great.
5) I'm still "young" (they keep saying that!!)
6) I'm responding to the medicines that I am on, while on treatments.
7) I have insurance coverage, that covers a lot.
8) I have a great support system. My friends are DA-BOMB and my DH is pretty awesome too.
9) I have a great clinic and and awesome team (nurse & Doctor)
I'm sure there's more, but I'm beginning to lose focus again. And I need to get something done during this work day.
Ok, so say a little prayer for me and my...... BABY for Monday morning. Praying that these levels DOUBLE!!
Until Then - -
By the way, I'm scared shitless.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Unofficial Results Are In...
Oh boy. Had I written this yesterday I'm not sure how I would have gotten through with out sounding like a sobbing idiot with tears on her keyboard - at work.
I had such a high hope with this cycle. The doctors and nurses made such a big deal about this one, I've never heard the words "to many eggs" ever said to me. We did everything as directed. I had made a deal with myself, that if I started to feel symptoms that I would give myself permission to take a hpt. So I thought I was starting to feel things over the weekend, breast tenderness was the main one. I took a hpt test on Monday morning, and it was negative. I looked at it, and thought "well, shit, ok" and just stared it at for a min longer, maybe searching for that faint line. I was on the fence about it, leaning more towards it being negative just b/c I didn't feel anything else, and that it could've been a side effect of the progesterone. Could have been to early, but I get my beta done on Friday. I don't think I'm magically going to get pregnant in 4 days.
Then the rest of the morning I was again surprisingly inconsolable. I know what treatments mean, I know there will be more rounds of this than I can count on one hand (probably), that there will be more than one BFN's. I just couldn't stop crying, it was out of my control. Snot running down my nose, eyes were red and puffy. I hid behind my hair and hoped no one saw me. When the snot got to much to handle and I ran out of tissues at my desk I got up and went to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water and held a cold tissue to my eyes. I kept looking at myself in the mirror telling myself "It's going to be ok, its going to be ok" I almost couldn't even look myself in the eyes, but I did. And the crying stopped. I took a couple of deep breaths and walked back to my office.
I'd be ok until someone asked me how I was doing. I ran into a women in the copier room and she just looked at me, I froze and literally ran away from her. I think she could tell there was something wrong.
I was listening to christian music on pandora and sometimes I get so into the songs that I cry because at that moment I feel like I am surrounded by Gods love - that I just cry. Maybe I should have turned the channel to a comedy channel. And maybe I shouldn't have taken a test before a work day. Lesson learned.
Headphones on, listening to "folk" ish music - In reflection today, I'm asking the question "why?" I had 4 opportunities right there. DH sperm is fine, more than fine actually. So whats not happening to make this not happen?
For this reason I will not be doing a 3rd timed trying. Its just to much to get through. Between trying to fit "it" in, in b/t jobs sometimes, having the pressure on my husband to complete the mission. I feel less in control with these rounds.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the doctor on what I should/can do about the next cycle (in regards the thyroid drama), which would be an IUI. I feel like, unsettled or something. Almost like I need her as my RE (and not E) and as the 2nd opinion to tell me what to do. If it were up to me, I would do one IUI and take December off. I'll end up calling my nurse on Thursday morning to see if they can add a TH test to the blood drawing and let me know my results same day. Otherwise, I'd be waiting until next week, +3 days waiting for results only to be told then, yes you can proceed, or no you cant there's actually something seriously wrong with your thyroid and not just the demon inside of it.
SO. That's where I'm at today. I feel bloated b/c I ate a pint of ice cream and I haven't worked out in a few and made the mistake of drying my pants instead of air dry. AND moron new guy made the schedule for job#2 and scheduled me 31 hours this week (on top of the 40+ that I already work for job#1). Aparrrrrentlly he didn't know that I had a FT job? So after working 8 hours Sunday, I work the next three days in a row, 16 hour days. Friday might be a day where I need to run down to the special pharmacy to pic up meds, then work again on Saturday. It's not going to be fun at all.
I'm THIS close to signing up for a 5k or 5 mile race to take the focus off of fertility, plus I hope it will help with the weight. I also have to stop drinking yummy mocha's from Panera and eating pints of ice cream.
I shouldn't but I'm probably getting taco bell for dinner. But that's it! I promise.
You'll most likely here from me on Friday.
Until then - -
I had such a high hope with this cycle. The doctors and nurses made such a big deal about this one, I've never heard the words "to many eggs" ever said to me. We did everything as directed. I had made a deal with myself, that if I started to feel symptoms that I would give myself permission to take a hpt. So I thought I was starting to feel things over the weekend, breast tenderness was the main one. I took a hpt test on Monday morning, and it was negative. I looked at it, and thought "well, shit, ok" and just stared it at for a min longer, maybe searching for that faint line. I was on the fence about it, leaning more towards it being negative just b/c I didn't feel anything else, and that it could've been a side effect of the progesterone. Could have been to early, but I get my beta done on Friday. I don't think I'm magically going to get pregnant in 4 days.
Then the rest of the morning I was again surprisingly inconsolable. I know what treatments mean, I know there will be more rounds of this than I can count on one hand (probably), that there will be more than one BFN's. I just couldn't stop crying, it was out of my control. Snot running down my nose, eyes were red and puffy. I hid behind my hair and hoped no one saw me. When the snot got to much to handle and I ran out of tissues at my desk I got up and went to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water and held a cold tissue to my eyes. I kept looking at myself in the mirror telling myself "It's going to be ok, its going to be ok" I almost couldn't even look myself in the eyes, but I did. And the crying stopped. I took a couple of deep breaths and walked back to my office.
I'd be ok until someone asked me how I was doing. I ran into a women in the copier room and she just looked at me, I froze and literally ran away from her. I think she could tell there was something wrong.
I was listening to christian music on pandora and sometimes I get so into the songs that I cry because at that moment I feel like I am surrounded by Gods love - that I just cry. Maybe I should have turned the channel to a comedy channel. And maybe I shouldn't have taken a test before a work day. Lesson learned.
Headphones on, listening to "folk" ish music - In reflection today, I'm asking the question "why?" I had 4 opportunities right there. DH sperm is fine, more than fine actually. So whats not happening to make this not happen?
For this reason I will not be doing a 3rd timed trying. Its just to much to get through. Between trying to fit "it" in, in b/t jobs sometimes, having the pressure on my husband to complete the mission. I feel less in control with these rounds.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the doctor on what I should/can do about the next cycle (in regards the thyroid drama), which would be an IUI. I feel like, unsettled or something. Almost like I need her as my RE (and not E) and as the 2nd opinion to tell me what to do. If it were up to me, I would do one IUI and take December off. I'll end up calling my nurse on Thursday morning to see if they can add a TH test to the blood drawing and let me know my results same day. Otherwise, I'd be waiting until next week, +3 days waiting for results only to be told then, yes you can proceed, or no you cant there's actually something seriously wrong with your thyroid and not just the demon inside of it.
SO. That's where I'm at today. I feel bloated b/c I ate a pint of ice cream and I haven't worked out in a few and made the mistake of drying my pants instead of air dry. AND moron new guy made the schedule for job#2 and scheduled me 31 hours this week (on top of the 40+ that I already work for job#1). Aparrrrrentlly he didn't know that I had a FT job? So after working 8 hours Sunday, I work the next three days in a row, 16 hour days. Friday might be a day where I need to run down to the special pharmacy to pic up meds, then work again on Saturday. It's not going to be fun at all.
I'm THIS close to signing up for a 5k or 5 mile race to take the focus off of fertility, plus I hope it will help with the weight. I also have to stop drinking yummy mocha's from Panera and eating pints of ice cream.
I shouldn't but I'm probably getting taco bell for dinner. But that's it! I promise.
You'll most likely here from me on Friday.
Until then - -
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Thyroid Drama
On top of having PCOS (which is awe-some btw) I also have thyroid issues. And apparently there is a demon in my thyroid. And it's mad at me for whatever reason.
I'm not entirely sure why, but my levels rarely stay "normal." It's either to high, to low, or just barely there (should I nick name my thyroid Goldilocks?). I get blood drawn and in to see the doc every 4-6 months because of that. About this time last year, maybe end of Nov actually my thyroid was to high, to the fact that I had to wait 9 weeks before starting treatments because of a dosage change. I ended up getting pregnant in the middle of those 9 week and my levels were still high, so my dosage was adjusted again based on the pregnancy factor. Then a few weeks later they were going back down to normal, dosage adjustment again, but then I had miscarried and a few weeks later my levels were perfect. Ok, good. sort of.
My levels were perfect in April, so I didn't need to see the doctor again for 6 months (i.e on Tuesday). Having perfect levels, and no huge changes in my daily routines I had no reason to think otherwise when I started treatments in Sept, then again this last week+. So I never really thought to get my blood tested before hand.
I probably should have, and will do from this point forward. No reason to get excited for treatment if its halted and I fall down hard from it.
Quick lesson for non demon thyroid issue people. A good level for the TH is .05-1.5, sooooometimes 2 is "ok"... well mine was 3.45. So super duper low, almost as if the thyroid isn't even functioning with medicine. As soon as the doc showed me her computer screen I lost it, hysterical cry. Whats wrong with me? Why does my thyroid hate me so much? Why does this little tiny thing in my neck have so much power on my body? I wasn't in the right mind to ask why such a huge jump could have happened, maybe there is an underlying problem? I'll ask that question soon, but there is a plan.
The plan is, get my blood drawn again in two weeks (27th) to see if my levels are headed in the right direction. If they are, then regular endocrine doc says I can move forward. BUT, the timing couldn't be worse, if this cycle I'm in now doesn't work, my cd1 for next cycle would be the 26th or 27th.
Then get my blood drawn again 4 weeks later for a total of 6 weeks for the new dosage to take affect.
Because of this, my endocrinologist wants me to wait a cycle . And I had already decided to not cycle for December. To much going on, and I want to avoid the whole "Merry Christmas, your not pregnant....again...." Which means, no more treatments till next year. Because of the very abnormally low thyroid level, I'm also at high risk for another miscarriage if I am pregnant this cycle (I wont find out till the 23rd, or before if I break down and take a hpt). Double suck. I was pretty devastated.
It took some time to sort of get over this and this morning I emailed my doctor for a second opinion of sorts. I'm kind of thinking, I just did two cycles with a demon thyroid, so whats one more? By the time I get my blood drawn again, my levels should be moving in the right direction, so by the time if/when I get pregnant from the 3rd cycle I should be ok.
But if she says, wait, I will wait.
Meanwhile I'm in the midst of my TWW, and I keep looking at my app tracker obsessing over what dpo day it is (btw I'm 5dpo/cd18). I've taken progesterone enough I think to see the side effects is has on me, and really its only been cramping. And I also feel like I can tell the difference b/t a pregnancy cramp and a medicine/period cramp because it feels odd, stretchy sort of feeling. So I'm starting to pay attention to what my body is saying.. and so far nothing.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Needless to say, my week hasn't been fantastic. AND its pregnancy & infant loss remembrance day, ANNNND my due date was last week (the 9th). So I'm one big ball of emotions right now ready to explode. I'm going to try and fit in a run tonight. Working out has been a huge help that has been keeping me afloat.
**Edited Update:
I put on my fb status that I am 1 in 4, so my SIL asked, what is that? I explained that 1 in 4 pregnancy/infants end in miscarriage/death, so I am 1 in 4. She ask's in return, Are you pregnant? huh? ...... that would be a "no." >insert blank stare here<
There are those of you who are going through some really hard times right now, and I hope that you know that you have a perfect stranger who is praying and thinking about you. It can be so hard to figure out your plan, and its a constant struggle - at least for me it. I'm a control/planner freak. So when things don't go my way - I get really upset. But I am reminded of how awesome our God is. And how awesome His timing is. He hear's us all, and is desperately holding out his arms for us, just have to remember to get up, wipe away the tears, and open up our arms to receive him.
Do it with me..
>Deep breath<
"Things will happen the way their supposed to, according to His timing."
One step at a time, that's all you have to focus on. Get through that next appointment.
With <3
Until next time - -
I'm not entirely sure why, but my levels rarely stay "normal." It's either to high, to low, or just barely there (should I nick name my thyroid Goldilocks?). I get blood drawn and in to see the doc every 4-6 months because of that. About this time last year, maybe end of Nov actually my thyroid was to high, to the fact that I had to wait 9 weeks before starting treatments because of a dosage change. I ended up getting pregnant in the middle of those 9 week and my levels were still high, so my dosage was adjusted again based on the pregnancy factor. Then a few weeks later they were going back down to normal, dosage adjustment again, but then I had miscarried and a few weeks later my levels were perfect. Ok, good. sort of.
My levels were perfect in April, so I didn't need to see the doctor again for 6 months (i.e on Tuesday). Having perfect levels, and no huge changes in my daily routines I had no reason to think otherwise when I started treatments in Sept, then again this last week+. So I never really thought to get my blood tested before hand.
I probably should have, and will do from this point forward. No reason to get excited for treatment if its halted and I fall down hard from it.
Quick lesson for non demon thyroid issue people. A good level for the TH is .05-1.5, sooooometimes 2 is "ok"... well mine was 3.45. So super duper low, almost as if the thyroid isn't even functioning with medicine. As soon as the doc showed me her computer screen I lost it, hysterical cry. Whats wrong with me? Why does my thyroid hate me so much? Why does this little tiny thing in my neck have so much power on my body? I wasn't in the right mind to ask why such a huge jump could have happened, maybe there is an underlying problem? I'll ask that question soon, but there is a plan.
The plan is, get my blood drawn again in two weeks (27th) to see if my levels are headed in the right direction. If they are, then regular endocrine doc says I can move forward. BUT, the timing couldn't be worse, if this cycle I'm in now doesn't work, my cd1 for next cycle would be the 26th or 27th.
Then get my blood drawn again 4 weeks later for a total of 6 weeks for the new dosage to take affect.
Because of this, my endocrinologist wants me to wait a cycle . And I had already decided to not cycle for December. To much going on, and I want to avoid the whole "Merry Christmas, your not pregnant....again...." Which means, no more treatments till next year. Because of the very abnormally low thyroid level, I'm also at high risk for another miscarriage if I am pregnant this cycle (I wont find out till the 23rd, or before if I break down and take a hpt). Double suck. I was pretty devastated.
It took some time to sort of get over this and this morning I emailed my doctor for a second opinion of sorts. I'm kind of thinking, I just did two cycles with a demon thyroid, so whats one more? By the time I get my blood drawn again, my levels should be moving in the right direction, so by the time if/when I get pregnant from the 3rd cycle I should be ok.
But if she says, wait, I will wait.
Meanwhile I'm in the midst of my TWW, and I keep looking at my app tracker obsessing over what dpo day it is (btw I'm 5dpo/cd18). I've taken progesterone enough I think to see the side effects is has on me, and really its only been cramping. And I also feel like I can tell the difference b/t a pregnancy cramp and a medicine/period cramp because it feels odd, stretchy sort of feeling. So I'm starting to pay attention to what my body is saying.. and so far nothing.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Needless to say, my week hasn't been fantastic. AND its pregnancy & infant loss remembrance day, ANNNND my due date was last week (the 9th). So I'm one big ball of emotions right now ready to explode. I'm going to try and fit in a run tonight. Working out has been a huge help that has been keeping me afloat.
**Edited Update:
I put on my fb status that I am 1 in 4, so my SIL asked, what is that? I explained that 1 in 4 pregnancy/infants end in miscarriage/death, so I am 1 in 4. She ask's in return, Are you pregnant? huh? ...... that would be a "no." >insert blank stare here<
There are those of you who are going through some really hard times right now, and I hope that you know that you have a perfect stranger who is praying and thinking about you. It can be so hard to figure out your plan, and its a constant struggle - at least for me it. I'm a control/planner freak. So when things don't go my way - I get really upset. But I am reminded of how awesome our God is. And how awesome His timing is. He hear's us all, and is desperately holding out his arms for us, just have to remember to get up, wipe away the tears, and open up our arms to receive him.
Do it with me..
>Deep breath<
"Things will happen the way their supposed to, according to His timing."
One step at a time, that's all you have to focus on. Get through that next appointment.
With <3
Until next time - -
Monday, October 12, 2015
Treatment Cycle #2 October 2015
Timed Trying #2
*I will have written this each day to avoid mult postings.
I know it seem's a little redundant to do another timed trying. But I feel like such a rookie at all this. I'm down for trying a few slower treatments in order to see how my body reacts to the medicines, to get an idea of what treatment is all about. Also giving my own body a chance to conceive sort of on its own. Plus I'm just not in a place right now in my life where we should just dive into IVF. I'm not financially ready or physically ready. Or even have enough vacation/sick leave to use when/if I get pregnant like right now. The local govt I work for choose not to have short term disability, in which I would have normally used while off for the 8'ish week. So I will have to save every ounce of vacation and sick leave, and try to earn 2 weeks comp time so I will get a full paycheck.
I confirmed the negative Friday Sept 25th, and stopped progesterone that night. It proved me wrong, and it did hold off my period from starting. But I tell ya, she came back with a vengeance on Monday afternoon, and thankfully before 5:00 (or if it was after, my clinic considers the next day CD1).
My cramps hurt so bad I was nauseous (btw I had a rough time spelling that).
So here goes:
Medications:
2,000 mg Metformin
100 mcg Synthroid
Prenatals
5x50mg Clomid
2xBravelle 75iu
Ovidrel 250 mcg
40mg Protonics for GERD/Acid reflux as needed
2,000 mg Metformin
100 mcg Synthroid
Prenatals
5x50mg Clomid
2xBravelle 75iu
Ovidrel 250 mcg
40mg Protonics for GERD/Acid reflux as needed
CD1-CD3: Rough start. I feel like I could have used an IV for IB Profin. My DH birthday just happened to be Monday too, so he was kind of upset that he couldn't "get his present." Ha! Had my day 3 appointment, 10 folly's to work with. And I start clomid tonight. My nurse is pretty wonderful. She's going to email me the calendar of the days on med's.
CD4-CD9: (cd4):So it begins. My 5 day fog, I'll coin the term. Maybe its because I just worked 16 hours yesterday, but this triple tall extra hot peppermint mocha -is not helping at.all. I started clomid last night. I still feel sort of bloated from the first couple days. I've not had a 28 day cycle in a long time, so I think my body is just adjusting to the new time table. (cd5-cd7): Friday I was so tired all day long, almost like the clomid has made its way into my blood stream and I'm feeling the effects. I couldn't drive back from P'burg, we stopped half way and DH took over. (cd7): Injection day, I did a better job of mixing and needle switching, but this time the stick hurt and it burned just a little, last day of clomid.(cd8)Felt pretty good all day. My trainer canceled so I ran some errands and ended up at my local park for a walk, but ended up running 3 miles on top of the 1 mile I walked. Felt so good. (cd9): Cramping some in the afternoon. Injection #2 tonight, again, kinda hurt and stung.
CD10-CD11: (cd10): Today was the follow up to see how many, and the growth. They were running behind, so they didn't take their time to explain. But they did say that I have 2 eggs around 15mm, and a few other 11mm. I'll wait to hear the results later today. I'm not sure whether to be excited, or nervous b/c they might cancel the cycle. As of now, not triggering tonight and I'm going back tomorrow to see the growth. But I will say this... I had a dream last night that I was pregnant with triplets. ek! (cd11) Went in for another monitoring apt. One of the15mm eggs grew to 18mm, and the other 20+mm. 1 of the 11mm grew to 16mm, still have one 11mm left. That's three solid chances. Remember that dream? yea.
Was VERY worried about being canceled based on the reaction this morning. The doctor actually called me back this afternoon and warned me about the odds of multi's and asked if I was open to embryo reduction. I had already thought about this awhile ago, and even discussed this with the DH. We're open to it. There's testing they can do, but I would to have to carry until 12 weeks. But I'm open to it. For that reason, the doc is letting me move forward with this cycle. Doc said my LH is very high, but wants me to trigger tonight anyways. Then baby dance tonight, tomorrow and Saturday morning for good measure. Then I'll start progesterone Saturday.
CD12-CD13: (cd12) Did the baby dance. Though, today was really about remembering what would have been. Today was supposed to be the day I gave birth. I had the whole day planed out, but my morning was kinda crazy, but the spa day I had planned worked out great. It was perfect. It was nice to be home in the afternoon, DH took me out to dinner and we did the BD. (cd13)Last chance BD, then started progesterone in the pm.
Today its 2dpo / cd15. Let the 2WW commence.
I'm again, stacking up my two weeks with so much stuff. That really helped a lot last time. I'm going to try and wait as long as I can before I break down and take a hpt.
So today, I work job#1, then I have an hour of personal training. I work both jobs Tuesday & Friday and the other nights I'll stay active with either training or bootcamp or running.
The next and last cycle of the year will be an IUI (should I need it). And I'm pretty relieved about it. It really takes the pressure of me & DH. I feel like we could be more of a couple than having to worry about getting "it" in time, b/t jobs, etc. And then I can also get back to saving, then having to worry about "how much this is going to cost me."
That about does it! Until next time - -
CD4-CD9: (cd4):So it begins. My 5 day fog, I'll coin the term. Maybe its because I just worked 16 hours yesterday, but this triple tall extra hot peppermint mocha -is not helping at.all. I started clomid last night. I still feel sort of bloated from the first couple days. I've not had a 28 day cycle in a long time, so I think my body is just adjusting to the new time table. (cd5-cd7): Friday I was so tired all day long, almost like the clomid has made its way into my blood stream and I'm feeling the effects. I couldn't drive back from P'burg, we stopped half way and DH took over. (cd7): Injection day, I did a better job of mixing and needle switching, but this time the stick hurt and it burned just a little, last day of clomid.(cd8)Felt pretty good all day. My trainer canceled so I ran some errands and ended up at my local park for a walk, but ended up running 3 miles on top of the 1 mile I walked. Felt so good. (cd9): Cramping some in the afternoon. Injection #2 tonight, again, kinda hurt and stung.
CD10-CD11: (cd10): Today was the follow up to see how many, and the growth. They were running behind, so they didn't take their time to explain. But they did say that I have 2 eggs around 15mm, and a few other 11mm. I'll wait to hear the results later today. I'm not sure whether to be excited, or nervous b/c they might cancel the cycle. As of now, not triggering tonight and I'm going back tomorrow to see the growth. But I will say this... I had a dream last night that I was pregnant with triplets. ek! (cd11) Went in for another monitoring apt. One of the15mm eggs grew to 18mm, and the other 20+mm. 1 of the 11mm grew to 16mm, still have one 11mm left. That's three solid chances. Remember that dream? yea.
Was VERY worried about being canceled based on the reaction this morning. The doctor actually called me back this afternoon and warned me about the odds of multi's and asked if I was open to embryo reduction. I had already thought about this awhile ago, and even discussed this with the DH. We're open to it. There's testing they can do, but I would to have to carry until 12 weeks. But I'm open to it. For that reason, the doc is letting me move forward with this cycle. Doc said my LH is very high, but wants me to trigger tonight anyways. Then baby dance tonight, tomorrow and Saturday morning for good measure. Then I'll start progesterone Saturday.
CD12-CD13: (cd12) Did the baby dance. Though, today was really about remembering what would have been. Today was supposed to be the day I gave birth. I had the whole day planed out, but my morning was kinda crazy, but the spa day I had planned worked out great. It was perfect. It was nice to be home in the afternoon, DH took me out to dinner and we did the BD. (cd13)Last chance BD, then started progesterone in the pm.
Today its 2dpo / cd15. Let the 2WW commence.
I'm again, stacking up my two weeks with so much stuff. That really helped a lot last time. I'm going to try and wait as long as I can before I break down and take a hpt.
So today, I work job#1, then I have an hour of personal training. I work both jobs Tuesday & Friday and the other nights I'll stay active with either training or bootcamp or running.
The next and last cycle of the year will be an IUI (should I need it). And I'm pretty relieved about it. It really takes the pressure of me & DH. I feel like we could be more of a couple than having to worry about getting "it" in time, b/t jobs, etc. And then I can also get back to saving, then having to worry about "how much this is going to cost me."
That about does it! Until next time - -
Monday, October 5, 2015
#MicroBlogMonday: Losing
Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is?Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.
Without Big Ben, I knew this would be an 'iffy' game and of course we did loose. Vick is just not the man he used to be. And our kicker (is there a different name for this? Cause I'm going around saying "kicker") was terrible. It was a tough loss. I talked some pretty good game before I left (I'm in MD, so Ravens are 'The' team to follow). So now I'm hanging my head today.
But! DH and I had a good time. Its such a good feeling when your in a stadium and there is a good play, everyone jumps up from their seats and waves that terrible towel, and high fives. My hands hurt so bad from clapping so long. And there was a band playing in the section below us. Reminded me of when I would go to my College football games (Go Gamecocks!! - even though they lost this weekend as well....). There were some Ravens fans in the stadium that night, and a few were escorted out. There's always a fight among the drunken men, but it provided some comedy for the night.
The next day I had the idea of doing a stadium tour for DH's birthday. It was a neat experience, and
the best part was being on the field. I've included some pictures below.
With this impending big bad hurricane that was supposed to hit, it didn't hit P'burg and the weather couldn't have been better!
I look forward to having Big Ben back when we're in Ravens home and winning.
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| Our seats for the night. The picture doeskin do real life justice. It looks like we're far away. |
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| On the field. |
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| Beer, that is carried through out the stadium. |
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| We're in the suits. Kinda small. But if you have a cool 45,000/year you can have one too! |
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| Yes, ladies and Gentleman - there are SIX trophies. |
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| The history of the terrible towel, started in 1945. |
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| On the field. |
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| View of suits lining that part of the stadium. |
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| View of the field from the suits. |
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| Locker room. Nothing fancy - at least on 'non' game days. |
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